That is all.

Labels: Picture

I can't help it. I'm slacking on the blog. I know I am, but I can't seem to... care. It really isn't all my fault though; it's just that you people don't leave enough comments to make me want to write anything cool and worthwhile. Why write when nobody cares? Sad face. Anyway, I'll just give you some more mindless linkage. I decided to skip 1.1 - 1.9 and go right to 2.0. These links from the interwebs are that good.

How We Can Travel to Another Earth-Like Planet
I don't know how possible this person's theories are, but he uses a lot of big words and complicated math equations. It's science. It must be true. Once he gets into his long-term strategy, he brings up the concept of The Interstellar Ark -- a 25-gigaton structure built in space that would essentially be an artificial planet (with gravity, oxygen and all) that can travel. It would only take an estimated 700 years to reach an alleged destination with a planet similar to Earth (like that show... Earth 2. That'd be funnier if I wasn't the only person in the world that remembered that show). You know, I'm pretty sure after seven centuries, the people would start to forget what they were doing in the first place... but where can I sign up anyway?

Man Dies in Home, Isn't Found for Over a Year
He was mummified. His television was still on. I don't even understand!

Very Cool Picture
Check out this picture on the NASA website. It's in Australia, and captured fireworks, a comet, and lightning all in the same frame.

Dead Sodas.
It's an article dedicated to pop that is no more. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who remembers the fruit flavored Pepsi's. He's got a few other memorable ones like Coke II, the semi-recent Surge (I was addicted to that stuff... I miss it), Pepsi Blue and a few others.

Angry Movie Nerd Talks About TMNT III
If the third Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie tried to rape your childhood like it did mine, you will probably be able to relate with the Angry Movie Nerd. The video is twenty minutes long (part two is here), but it will bring back haunting memories -- memories that maybe are better left forgotten. I was only 8 or 9 years old when I first saw the movie, but even I knew it sucked hard then. If you're not a fan of those turtles who are ninjas teenagers, you can probably just move on.

'American Jedi' Short
This is an old short movie (from 1999 or something) combining American Pie with Star Wars Episode I. While it's a little too long, it has some pretty funny moments.

Download YouTube Videos
Yep, now you can download all these pointless videos I put on my blog. You need to get the FLV Player to play them, though. You can convert them to more Winamp friendly formats (.avi or .mpg), but what do I look like? A teacher? Figure it out yourselves.

Mein Kampf
Adolf Hitler's famous book is public domain. You can read it online for free. No need to thank me.

Buy a Tropical Island
Thanks for this one, Sara. I've already started saving.

Labels: Linkage

Is there anything that makes me laugh harder than hokey religions? The answer is "yes." Still, I always get a good chuckle reading the official websites of certain religions, be it Scientology (which I'm sure we all know way too much about), Satanists (who don't believe in the Christian Satan... or any gods at all for that matter... confusing), or Santeria (the folks who made sacrificing animals in the name of religion legal in the US). My theory is that you can't properly be against something if you don't know exactly what you're against.

Well, I happened to stumble across something even more ridiculous than the idea of the Galactic Emperor Xenu living in a Volcano. It's an "educational foundation" called the Church of Euthanasia. To sum it up, these folks only have one commandment: "Thou shalt not procreate." It also has four principle pillars: suicide, abortion, sodomy and cannibalism (but only in cases on consuming the already dead, they say).

In other words, these nutcas... er... people think the world is overpopulated, because of a dream some cross-gendered vegetarian Reverend (don't ask, I don't know...) had in which he met an alien intelligence known as The Being. The Being told the Reverend that our planet is falling apart and our leaders are knowingly denying it. The falling apart of the world is attributed to the fact that homo sapiens have overpopulated the world. So, it has become to Reverend's goal to find those who are willing to depopulate the world with him (odd that after over a decade, the Reverend hasn't made the "ultimate sacrifice" yet).

Yes, that's why they promote suicide (on the site's FAQ, it links you to a site that gives the best ways to do this), abortion (self-explanatory), sodomy (because this doesn't make babies) and cannibalism (yep, I wish I were kidding, but they provide a guide to eating people - in case you're wondering "firm caucasian females in their early twenties" are the tastiest; and no, don't read it if you have a weak stomach).

After typing this, I realized I didn't really laugh at this. I just kind of have a puzzled, twisted expression on my face. I apologize for making you read about this, because this is some ******* up ****.

Umm... now to lighten to mood, read about the Jedi census phenomenon. Or, uh, Disney.com -- the website for the happiest place on earth.

Labels: Rambling, Religion

Sometimes I think I'm ready to be a father. It's when I see touching videos like this one of Ray Hoffman at his son's wrestling match, that I know I'm not quite there yet. No, sir. It pains me to admit that I'm not selfless enough to do something like this for my son. I think we can all learn a little something from Ray Hoffman today -- a little about compassion and the human spirit and how even when it seems there is no hope, we can still push around our 11-year old son's peers.

Labels: Video

Since Zodiac, David Fincher's (Se7en, Fight Club) first movie in five years, is going to be hitting theatres here in a few weeks, I figure it's time to give some of you folks a little history lesson. If you know me, you probably know I have a slight fascination with serial killers. That sounds kind of creepy, so maybe it's better said that trying to understand how the mind of serial killer works is what fascinates me so much. Still creepy? Eh, whatever. I've read too many books and watched too much American Justice on A&E over the years, I guess. That's probably why I had plans for a long time (like, oh, most of my young life) to do that sort of stuff for a living (not killing people, arresting people... and sitting behind a desk), before I realized working one-hundred potentially dangerous hours a week and getting paid diddly squat for it probably wasn't as great of an idea as I originally thought.

Back to the Zodiac serial killer, you can read a great write up about him over at the Crime Library. It's really long, but if you know nothing about the case, you will more than likely be insanely interested. If you're lazy, you could just go to Wikipedia. Obviously, if you don't want to know anything at all about the movie, don't read it. Don't read this post of mine either. In brief, Zodiac killed six people for sure in the late 1960s, and although evidence is inconclusive, there are numerous others he is linked to. What made him so notorious though, was he taunted police with cryptic letters and was more or less daring them to catch him. The case still hasn't been solved to this day, and the killer hasn't been caught.

I could describe the whole case to you, but the Crime Library, Wikipedia and probably many others sites have already done it better, so I won't waste the space. If nothing else, at least go to C.L. and read the letters he sent. They're pretty nuts.

Here are a few authentic letters from Zodiac scanned from the San Fransisco PD Crime Lab. Checky:

Letter 1 | Letter 2 | Letter 3 | Letter 4

Labels: Rambling

You know where the largest desert in the world is? Mexico? Egypt maybe? C'mon, just guess. Okay, I guess it's pretty obvious by the picture above. It's Antarctica. True story, and I never would have guessed it. It's good Jeopardy trivia. Check out this picture right here and think about how bad it would suck to be stranded there. Clint Eastwood couldn't even survive that desert. 70% of the world's fresh water is frozen in that big hunk too, and if it were to all melt, experts estimate the oceans would raise by 200 feet. Anyway, if you don't know anything about the big hunk of useless ice/land, I recommend looking into it. It's pretty fascinating, although I don't ever plan on taking a vacation there.

In other news, my lovely significant other recently posted about those Jung personality tests, and of course, I decided to try it out for her. While the letters assigned to me don't mean much to me (ENTP), I found out that some ideal careers for me would be a dictator, international spy, assassin, CIA or FBI agent, private detective, college professor, writer, fighter pilot, politician and entertainer. I am "multitalented, "interested in nearly everything," "independent, non-conforming and sometimes a little rebellious and confrontational." I also have "a [more] deeper understanding of [my] environment than any of the other types." In other words, I'm awesome.

Except then Sara got a big kick out of saying how accurate other parts of it were: "insensitive," "acts without thinking," " not valu[ing] other people's input enough, or becom[ing] overly harsh and aggressive." Thanks, sweetie. I guess that's why I'm going to be an awesome dictator and assassin someday. I can't wait.

These things aren't see-all, know-all by any means (obviously). If you answer the questions truthfully, of course it's going to be able to label you with vague enough terms that will resemble your personality. It's mostly just for fun and to make you feel good about yourself, although some insist that they're the most accurate test in the history of the world... much like the SATs.

Anyway, I have to get going. I have some stuff to do... gotta do some homework, call some buddies up, conquer a third world country...

Labels: Rambling

Sometimes I wonder how different the Muppet World would have been if Jim Henson hadn't died at such a young age in 1990. While I enjoyed Muppet Treasure Island and even Muppets from Space a bit, they just didn't have the charm that the old Muppet movies had before Henson passed on.



Hop on over here to see Kermit and Jim on Regis, the same year he passed away. Or listen to comedian Stephen Lynch's best song yet, Jim Henson's Dead and Gone. Or how about this classic orange skit from Sesame Street? I could keep giving you some, but it's as simple as typing "Muppets," "Jim Henson," or "Sesame Street" into Youtube, so go do it yourself, you lazy bums.

While not The Muppets or Henson related, am I the only one who remembers The Letter People? It's pretty weird how vividly I can remember things that I haven't watched in probably fifteen years.

Labels: Video

A few months ago, I posted this hilarious video of a man named Brian Atene in a supposed audition tape from 1984 that was to be sent to Stanley Kubrick for a Full Metal Jacket open audition. In it, he opens up talking a little about himself, then he lectures Kubrick a little, before he finally goes into his performance -- a hilariously overacted monologue from The Outsiders. I wasn't sure if it was real or not (nobody else seemed to be sure either), but it just so happens that it was real.

Brian Atene, now a few years past forty-years old, found out about this video, and spent some time commenting on it on YouTube, before he made a new video. He seems to have no idea who leaked this onto the internet, but in his new video he keeps up his overacting, even poking fun at himself a bit -- although it seems to me that there's some bitterness there as well. So, yeah... the fact is that the original video is real... and this perhaps makes it the single greatest and funniest video on YouTube.

You can check out the new video below (but make sure you watch the first video beforehand). He's still a weirdo... just now he's a weirdo with a cause (and he's made VH1's 40 Greatest Internet Superstars List... so vote for him!)

Labels: Video