I'm pretty outraged. Seriously. Whoever is in charge of that magazine 'People' needs to be fired. Just absolutely appalling. I'm sure they've pulled plenty of stupid stunts in the past, but this one really takes the cake. For the second year in a row, I didn't win Sexiest Man Alive.

I know what you're thinking: what a joke! I mean, right??

Last year, I posted about how heartbroken I was. Well, not this year. No, sir. This year, I'm just angry. Angry like a dog -- mouth frothing, weird grunting noises and everything.

Don't get me wrong, George Clooney is a fine looking gentleman and I guess he is pretty cool fellow too. He keeps calling me, trying to hang out and stuff, but I haven't been able to call him back yet, as I've been pretty busy with promoting and interviews and the like. Sorry, George, I'll get back to you soon, no need to leave any more voicemails.

My guess is that they were afraid the picture they would put of me on the cover would be so hot that all the magazines would spontaneously ignite, and they'd be out millions of dollars. Yeah. That was probably the problem. I guess I'm not so angry now.

Labels: Rambling

These are the guys that make you think, "Man, I wish I was as cool as him" while watching their movie. Usually afterwards, you will try something cool that they did in the movie when you are alone or maybe use one of their memorable lines, only to realize it's not cool when you do or say it because you are not cool like them. So quit trying. You suck.

Of course, I'm sure I missed out on plenty of characters that I would probably want on here, but I didn't want to spend hours and hours putting this together... so this is subject to change. Enjoy.


28. Tyler Durden (Fight Club)
He was completely out of his mind, wore outrageous looking outfits, and stole human fat, but somehow he pulled it off – and really made you think about your life in doing so. And really made you want to punch your friends in the face.
Quotable: Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?


27. The Terminator
The good version, of course. Who didn't wish they have an Austrian robot at their control after viewing Terminator 2? And c'mon, you know you teared up at the end. Admit it.
Quotable: [seeing John cry] What's wrong with your eyes?

26. Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)
He's a Blade Runner. He's Harrison Ford. He's lives in a futuristic neopunk world where it's his job to hunt down and kill cyborgs.
Quotable: I have had people walk out on me before, but not when I was being so charming.

25. Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
The rebel of the Ninja Turtles, he was also the coolest. He did things his own way and he is single-handedly the reason kids around the world yelled "damn" when they were upset.
Quotable: [when Leo asks him why he brought April back to their place] Why? Why - Oh I don't know, 'cause I wanted to redecorate. You know, a couple of throw pillows, a TV news reporter, what do ya think?

24. The Cincinnati Kid
Steve McQueen oozes with cool, there's no denying that. See below for why, as he's a lot like Eddie Felson, only with cards instead of pool.
Quotable: Listen, Christian, after the game, I'll be The Man. I'll be the best there is. People will sit down at the table with you, just so they can say they played with The Man.

23. Eddie Felson (The Hustler)
What makes Eddie Felson so cool? He’s actually kind of a punk, but his smug arrogance is something every male tries to imitate, although usually in vain, as not only is it not intimidating if you’re not Paul Newman, it usually just makes the person you’re trying to intimidate really annoyed and strive to crush you even more (in whatever it may be).
Quotable: Maybe I'm not such a high-class piece of property right now. And a 25% slice of something big is better than a 100% slice of nothing.

22. The Sundance Kid (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid)
I like Butch more, but Sundance is undeniably the cooler of the two. Plus, what’s a list of cool people with Robert Redford? He may not be able to swim, but he can shoot a gun like the west has never seen… besides in any John Wayne or Clint Eastwood movie, that is.
Quotable: I'm not picky. As long as she's smart, pretty, and sweet, and gentle, and tender, and refined, and lovely, and carefree...


21. Sanjuro (Yojimbo)
The first in the Dollars trilogy, A Fistful of Dollars, was based on this movie, as was Clint Eastwood’s character. So take that western, subtract the pistols and add swords. Need I say more?
Quotable: I'm not dying yet. I have to kill quite a few men first.

20. Marty Mcfly (Back to the Future trilogy)
Everyone wanted to be Marty when they were younger. He had a hoverboard, he played the guitar, he skateboarded, he had a wild-west showdown, and he had about the coolest best friend possible in Doc Brown. Admittedly, it was kind of weird that his mom had the hots for him…
Quotable: Whoa, this is heavy.

19. Doc Holliday (Tombstone)
Without Val Kilmer, the movie would probably hover around the level of mediocrity, but he single-handedly makes this a 90s classic. The scenes without him do suffer somewhat. It’s a shame he wasn’t awarded even an Oscar nod for this role.
Quotable: Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!

18. Spider-Man
Yeah, Peter Parker is a huge nerd, but that adds to his overall cool factor. This guy has the powers of a freaking spider. Sure, he often spits out some cheesy romantic stuff to Kirsten Dunst, but he makes up for that in being able to swing around New York City buildings and climbing walls… and stuff.
Quotable: [to man in elevator about his costume] Yeah, it’s kinda itchy… and it rides up in the crotch a little bit, too.

17. Don Vito Corleone (The Godfather)
Yeah, he’s pretty much a bad guy, but he’s about as cool of a bad guy as you could ever be. Between the horse head, the mumbling talk, the respect… every teenager tries to be like him, but usually fails miserably, since nobody can understand all that mumbling when you do it.
Quotable: What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.

16. Jefferson Smith (Mr. Smith Goes to Washington)
He’s a little foolish and very naïve… so why is he so cool? Well, when he’s in front of the Senate, exhausted, sweat beads rolling down his face during the filibuster, he never gives up. It’s something we all think we could do if we had to, but in reality, we wouldn’t make it more then a few hours. Plus, James Stewart might possibly give the best performance I’ve ever seen in my life here.
Quotable: I guess this is just another lost cause, Mr. Paine. All you people don't know about lost causes. Mr. Paine does. He said once they were the only causes worth fighting for. And he fought for them once, for the only reason any man ever fights for them; because of just one plain simple rule: 'Love thy neighbor.'... And you know that you fight for the lost causes harder than for any other. Yes, you even die for them.

15. Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird)
I definitely rank this somewhere in the ten best movie performances ever. The film is a masterpiece, but I wonder just how great it would be without Gregory Peck? Atticus Finch is the man most guys strive to be like – steadfast, never giving up on what he believes in, that sort of deal.
Quotable: There's a lot of ugly things in this world, son. I wish I could keep 'em all away from you. That's never possible.

14. Jake Giddes (Chinatown)
I'm not really sure what makes him so cool. He's not really a great detective. He fought dirty, many times kneeing guys in the nuts, and he had a lot of flaws. Maybe that's what made him so cool though.
Quotable: I goddamn near lost my nose. And I like it. I like breathing through it.


13. Josey Wales (The Outlaw Josey Wales)
He was an outlaw, but a good-hearted one. The scar across his face ups his coolness by 150% too. This is probably the western where Eastwood’s character talks to most, and perhaps that’s why it’s my favorite of his outside the Man With No Name trilogy.
Quotable: Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?

12. The Dude (The Big Lebowski)
He didn't care about much, all he wanted was his rug back, because it really tied the room together. He also wore some of the coolest and most attractive outfits a man could ever wear, such as flannel pants and a Mr. Rodgers-like sweater.
Quotable: She's not my special lady, she's my lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive.

11. Harmonica (Once Upon a Time in the West)
Harmonica: Did you bring a horse for me?
Snaky: Well... looks like we're... [snickers] ...looks like we're shy one horse.
Harmonica: You brought two too many.

10. Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon)
Perhaps Humphrey Bogart’s best performance, and only behind Casablanca as his best movie, his character of Sam Spade has influenced probably every single detective in a movie since. Bogart has some of the best line delivery in all of cinema history.
Quotable: Don't be too sure I'm as crooked as I'm supposed to be.

9. John McClane (Die Hard trilogy)
He dies very hard. It's hard for him to die. He hardly dies, but when he does it's hard. And occasionally with a vengeance. Except now he’s going to live free and then die hard in a fourth installment, which may or may not change his cool factor. We will have to see.
Quotable: Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.

8. Peter Venkman (Ghostbusters)
Murray has a knack for play the sarcastic wise guy, and nobody does it quite like him. Easily the coolest of the Ghostbusters, when something strange was going on, he always seemed disinterested, and would always through out a sarcastic comment. We all tried to be just like him, except we all usually came off as real jerks.
Quotable: We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft's, okay, he's a sailor, he's in New York, we get this guy laid we won't have any trouble.

7. Ash (Evil Dead trilogy)
Yeah, the guy from the Evil Dead Trilogy (you know, Bruce Campbell... Army of Darkness... yeah, that guy). When he lost his hand, did he cry? No, of course not. He did what any real man would do. He tied a chainsaw to his stub. Hail to the king, baby.
Quotable: Well, hello Mr. Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.

6. Luke Jackson (Cool Hand Luke)
Maybe it was his persistence not to conform to his prison life that made him so cool. Maybe it was because he could eat fifty eggs. Maybe it was because he got the living daylights whooped out of him, but he kept standing back up. Maybe it was how through all of it, he managed to keep that half grin on his face that you just knew was intended to annoy the men in charge.
Quotable: Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand.


5. Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce (M*A*S*H)
Yeah, he's from a TV show (since I'm talking about the Alan Alda M*A*S*H* version), but so what? Leaving him off a list such as this would be simply wrong. He was the star of the greatest television show ever. Sarcastic, always up to no good – he’s the guy you’d want to be your best friend if you were ever in a war.
Quotable: It was the least I could do. I always do the least I can do.

4. James Bond (22 James Bond movies)
What would a cool list be without James Bond? And most specifically the Sean Connery version, although Daniel Craig has made an easy runner up in that department. Between wooing any woman he wanted at nearly any time, having a license to kill, blowing stuff up, wearing those cool tuxedos, driving those Ashton Martins, and oozing his charm on anyone who came his way, he is easily one of the coolest people to ever grace to screen. He also influenced countless men across the world to order martinis… shaken, not stirred.
Quotable: My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit.


3. Han Solo (Star Wars original trilogy)
Leia: "I love you." Han: "I know."

2. The Man With No Name (The Dollars Trilogy)
He has no name -- or at least he doesn't tell anyone it, because he's mysterious. That ups his cool points right there. I guess sometimes he's called Joe or Blondie, but we'll stick with the Man With No Name. I bet if he has a name though, it's Carl. He looks like a Carl.
Quotable: You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.


1. Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones trilogy)
Yeah, this is predictible if you know me or have ever met me or have even seen me, since I am usually wandering around wearing a fedora, leather jacket and carrying a whip pretty much all of the time. Plus, I take a lot of history classes.
Quotable: It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage.

Labels: Lists, Movies

I don't want this to turn into a celebrity gossip blog, but I can't get over the fact that this Lindsay Lohan person is still getting work in Hollywood. Sure, maybe she was cute or whatever when she did the Parent Trap remake, but after all this constant partying, all these public outbursts and showing up late to work often, her obvious unwillingness to cooperate with those she works with, shouldn't it be about time people stop giving her work? Maybe I should give her some kind of credit -- I mean, Robert Altman did cast her in his last movie -- that has to mean something right? Well, every legendary director made mistakes, and I've forgiven him for his. Read this open statement Lindsay wrote to Altman's family to express her sorrow for their loss. I'll bold the parts that make little sense:

I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends,co-workers, and all of his inner circle.

I feel as if I've just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches.

If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman's wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could..

Robert altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.

I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.

I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years.

The point is, he made a difference.

He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

So every day when you wake up.

Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.

The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious.

Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful.

Life comes once, doesn't 'keep coming back' and we all take such advantage of what we have.

When we shouldn't..... '

Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book) -everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.

If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I'm one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I'm just a phone call away.

God Bless, peace and love always.

Thank You,

"BE ADEQUITE"

Lindsay Lohan

No, I did not leave any of her letter out. That is her actual statement she wrote, via USA Today. And her publicist better be fired for letting her get out a statement consisting of fragmented sentences and mixed thoughts that don't make any sort of sense.

Seriously, reread it. I'm baffled at this girl's stupidity. "He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do." Umm... what?? At least she made a complete sentence there though. And why is she lecturing Mr. Altman's family on appreciating life and being thankful? Why is Lindsay Lohan telling Robert Altman's family (or anyone for that matter) to remember how tedious "drama" is?

I make myself sick for even wasting my time on this crap.

Labels: Pop Culture

I read today about how Wal-Mart is bringing Christmas back to it's stores after last season when it decided only "Happy Holidays" was acceptable. I'm not knocking on Wal-Mart, as I love greedy corporations as much as the next person, but I do question why they even decided against taking the word "Christmas" out of the stores and it's products altogether last year in the first place.

In a recent poll, it was found that 96% of Americans celebrate Christmas, while 5% celebrate Hanukkah, 2% celebrate Kwanzaa (obviously, some people celebrate both, don't get confused here) and 1% of the population does not celebrate anything during this time of year.

So, the point here folks, is that 96 out of a 100 people walking into Wal-Mart celebrate Christmas. This is called an insanely huge majority, you see. Taking the word Christmas away from this 96%, just so you don't offend the Jewish population or someone that does not celebrate Christmas is beyond what I like to call "silly."

If someone doesn't celebrate Christmas, that's not a big deal. It doesn't have anything to do with me, nor does it bother me. The whole point of this post, though, is if you don't celebrate Christmas, and actually get offended because someone wishes you a Merry Christmas or because you see a coffee mug with "Merry Christmas, Dad" on it (when you live in a country where 96% of the population celebrates the holiday)... well, my friend, you're what I like to call an idiot. That would be like me, as a man who enjoys his eggnog and Reindeers, going over to Israel, and becoming upset because I was wished a Happy Hanukkah and given a dreidel. It just doesn't make sense.

Labels: Rambling

If this clip of Brian Atene is real, well... it's probably one of the funniest things I've seen in quite some time. If it's staged, this might even be more funny. I wasn't able to dig up anything on this character, so no confirmation on whether it's real or not, but here's the deal: supposedly, this is a real audition tape sent to Stanley Kubrick in 1984 when he advertised for aspiring actors to send him their tapes for a role in Full Metal Jacket. Obviously (and sadly), Mr. Atene didn't make the cut. Check this out -- this is either one of the funniest or most genius videos on YouTube. His 'The Outsiders' performance is classic. God bless him the poor fellow, if he's serious.

Labels: Video

Well, of course everyone who is anyone is looking forward to Casino Royale, Spider-Man 3, and Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause -- but what are some movies that aren't so highly advertised (as successful sequels usually are) that are not sequels or remakes or reimaginings that everyone should really be looking forward to watch in the next few months?

Rescue Dawn
Directed by the legendary (not too mention insane) Werner Herzog, you have to be absolutely out of your mind to not be looking forward to this one. Starring Christian Bale (who with every movie of his I see, he keeps climbing his way up on my list of favorite actors -- this looks to be no different), Steve Zahn, and Jeremy Davies, this is the true tale of a US Pilot who is shot down and captured in Vietnam. Just watch the trailer. It looks awesome.


The Good German
I got a feeling of Casablanca and the Third Man when I saw the trailer, and that's certainly a compliment. Starring George Clooney, Tobey Maguire, and Cate Blanchett and directed by Steven Soderbergh (Ocean's 11, Traffic), it's a murder mystery in Post-WWII Germany, in which an American goes in search of his former mistress.
Trailer


Blood Diamond
I can't lie, I went through my "bash Leo because he was in Titanic" phase just like the rest of us. Except I've (thankfully) managed to grow out of it. The guy can act. In fact, I'd say he's one of the best working actors out there right now, and I thought that even before seeing The Departed (which just might be his best performance to date). Add in Djimon Hounsou who has shown plenty of promise, and the talents of director Edward Zwick (The Last Samurai, Glory), and there is no doubt that I will be there on the opening day of December 8.
Trailer


The Painted Veil
The more I watch this trailer, the better it looks. Plus it's Edward friggin' Norton, the best actor of his generation. After watching Down in the Valley and The Illusionist this year, I can't get enough of this guy, and add in Naomi Watts, who is pretty dang good herself, and this is one I'm waaaaay looking forward too.
Trailer


The Good Shepherd
You'd think a movie directed and starring Robert De Niro, as well as Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie, and Joe Pesci (coming out of retirement) would be number one on my list... and it should be, but it's not. That's just telling you how many great movies look to be coming out. Who knows, maybe Damon and DiCaprio will each be up for two Oscars this year?
Trailer


Pan's Labyrinth
This one looks absolutely nutty... in the most awesome way possible. I can't even explain it. Seriously. This could easily turn out to be one of the best (and not to mention most original) movies of the year. Just watch the trailer, and you'll be wanting to see this adult-fairy-tale-Alice-in-Wonderland-on-far-more-acid movie from the mind of Guillermo del Toro.


Zodiac
David Fincher. The guy brought us Fight Club and Se7en, to of the best movies of the past 15 years. Okay, yeah, he did Panic Room too, but it's been five years since he's made that movie (or any movie for that matter), and that was enough time for him to reflect on how not too make another crapfest like that. Plus, even if Fincher weren't doing this, the plot alone is enough to drool over. It follows the true story of the Zodiac serial killer, who taunted police with cryptic messages and letters, and who was ultimately never found. And it stars Robert Downey Jr. and Jake Gylllenfogfelllgeel. The only thing that makes me nervous is the January 19th release date -- everyone knows that January is a dump month for crappy movies.
No Trailer, but Some Behind the Scenes Stuff


Alright, alright, there are plenty more great looking movies coming in the next few months, but frankly, I'm too lazy to continue. Ridley Scott's A Good Year, 300 (an all CGI movie about the Greek Spartans... look incredible), A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints, Babel (Oscar for Brad Pitt?), another Christian Bale film that looks similar to Training Day - Harsh Times, Clint Eastwood's Letters from Iwo Jima, the obviously mind-bending The Fountain where Hugh Jackaman will continue to show us he can be far more than Wolverine, TMNT... it should be a busy few months.

So, let me see them all here the next few months, and I'll be back with my Oscar predictions. L8r sk8rs.

Labels: Movies